A homage to the writing and delivery of the rants, quips, verbal assassinations and retorts of Dr. Perry Cox (Aka John C. McGinley).

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No: 530

Find in Verbal Assassinations

Back off there, lady. How’s about you save up all that energy for the cruise? Go on get out of here. Hippity hop to the barbershop. Come on, Mom.

No: 517

Find in Season 4

I wasn’t [buzz]-ing you to indicate an incorrect answer. I was [buzz]-ing you because I was bored and I just thought that might drive you crazy.

No: 516

Find in Verbal Assassinations

(…)The tick-tocking of your biological clock leading you towards the corner of Celibate and Spinster Way?

No: 515

Find in Season 4

I can change a diaper in twenty seconds.

No: 514

Find in Season 4

All right, Jack, listen to me. Ron’s in the bathroom diapering his kid. When he gets out, it’s playtime. And, son, lately your coloring’s been sloppy and your Elmo song — well, unfortunately, it’s lacked heart. Now you and I, we both know that your super-secret go-to toy are your building blocks. Well, it’s time [...]

No: 513

Find in Season 4

Carla, that makes you my girl. Hell, we could crank up the humidity and watch your hair explode, that’d be terrific.

No: 513

Find in Season 4

Which leaves me, and, unless all of you wanna see me turn a two-syllable word into a six-syllable word, I re-he-he-he-he-heally think that we should keep looking.

No: 512

Find in Season 4

Let’s take a look at our other options. Gandhi? You appear to be a man that is utterly without talent. Unless, of course, you wanna count the fact that you are the twentieth-best basketball player in a predominately white hospital?

No: 511

Find in Season 4

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Man Not Caring.

No: 510

Find in Season 4

Loretta, relax, I’ve been involved in every ridiculous T.V.-induced panic there is. Poison pills, SARS, West Nile, North Face, South Fork, East River, monkeypox, pop rocks, toilet snakes, mad cow, bird flu, swine flu, and, quite frankly, every other flu that you could really only catch if you’re actually fornicating with the animal it’s named [...]

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