Archive for: June 2007

“I think the question you should be asking is, “Mind if I diddle your ex?” Oh, and just a great big congratulations on your on-going streak of being the world’s worst older brother!”
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“Let’s break down the kid’s support system, shall we? He has me, an emotionally-crippled narcissist; and, he’s got you, an emotionally-crippled narcissist who’s soaking in a tub which by now has to be mostly your own urine.” –>

“So now, how would you like this whole hug thing to go down? Do you wish to remain seated, would you like to stand? I, of course, don’t care, as long as it’s under three seconds and I don’t feel your breath on my neck.” –>

“Hey, Wonder Bra? Do you, uh - do you have a second?” –>

“Hold the phone: are you suggesting that if I sleep with him, that I won’t have to deal with problems like this? Because I’m seriously considering taking that hit. I mean, honestly, what is he like in post-game? Is there spooning? Because I don’t spoon, I’m not a spooner.”

“Barbie… you’ve met be before, yes? Now, at most, I can muster one hug a year, and nine months ago I hugged my son, so: you’re gonna have to do it.” –>

“Outstanding! You’re walking away like a pissy little ingrate. I mean, bravo!” –>

“Hey, Newbie? Just in case you didn’t actually notice, I have been covering all your patients, answering all your pages, and doing pretty much everything shy of picking up your sundress from the drycleaners.” –>

“Great. Great, great, great, great. I took all his patients, and I threatened every single one of his residents under the penalty of death not to page him.” –>

“Yeah, unfortunately, the first part of the plan is not to share it with people who annoy me. Want to hear the second part? ……I can’t. My hands are tied by the first part.”
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