Archive for: July 2007

“You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl’s name or scream in his face.” –>

“You got the number from Jordan, didn’t you. She hates me.” –>

“By the by, this moment is so great, I’d cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments.” –>

“I love this moment so much I want to have sex with it.” –>

“Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself. Like, say, he’s got a son. Or he’s 29-years-old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover.”

“Ohh, my God. I’m gagging and vomiting at the same time! I’m…I’m gavomiting!” –>

“People suck. They suck. And make no mistake about it, even sweet little
old ladies are looking to bend you over a chair in court.” –>

“Life is pointless Gandhi, and I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. The only thing more pointless than life itself is being a doctor. I mean, bottom line, you spend eight years and 200Gs trying to get through med school and what do you have to show for it? I’ll tell ya. A diploma on your wall, and a bullseye on your back.” –>

“Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Just skip the rest of your “I’ll show you speech” ” –>

“Sweetheart, I find it amusing that you think you’re so much as a blip on my radar.” –>