Archive for: March 2008

“Hardly seems like much of a punishment for the kid from Kenya. I mean, God’s sake, he could run all day.” –>

“I don’t have any anger issues.” –>

“Gather round, doomed new interns who just paged me! Quick question: What does this outfit tell you? (…) It means that I was just working out — which, incidentally, is the last remaining activity I have in my adult life that qualifies as “me time.” Other activities recently crossed off of that list include my morning dump and all showers. You see, my dear son Jack has decided that those are team sports. However, I’m here, and I’m totally psyched to hear whatever the super-de-duper reason is that you paged me.” –>

“Shadaisy!” –>

“Oh, come on, you gotta focus on the positives. For instance, the medical miracle that is one woman actually impregnating another woman.” –>

“Oh, have you, Stanley? I wasn’t expecting any.” –>

“Listen, Newbie, you’re not a completely, terribly, horrible, incompetent doctor. While I would never let any blood relatives be your patient, if it was someone that I knew, an acquaintance, I might be OK with you treating them.”
–>

“Are you ready to run the extra mile?” –>

“They’re giving away free Tastykakes at the comic book store? Ha-ha! That worked better when you were a fat load.”
–>

“In four and a half years, I’ve watched your pal, Stephanie, go through a multitude of irritating fads: UGG boots, campaign for better grammar among staff and the double European air-kiss. Seeing as you are sorority sisters, I was hoping you’d be able to tell me when this “extra mile” crap will end.”
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