Category: One Liners

“You have diabetes and you can’t eat cupcakes.”

“Good morning, “reasons why I drink”, you may have noticed that we have a new face in our group.”
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“Any other day I’d say no, but today I’m gonna go ahead and just say no.”
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“Jordan…the boy already lipsyncs into your tampons, must we put a final nail in this tiny gay coffin?”
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“Oh sure, sure as long as you cut back on your vegetables. And maybe, you know, buy some clothes from this decade.”

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“You usually have to go to a van convention to see art of the quality, you do.”
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“Easy, buddy. That smell burning your nostrils isn’t just the baby throw-up on her jacket - it’s the smell of a doctor with integrity.” –>

“Ah, when it comes to torturing you, everybody’s on the same page.” –>

“I’m just gonna go ahead and tip myself for calling this one. Thank you, me!” –>

“Bobbo! No time! Gotta go tell Mr. Clancy that his tumor is benign. Is that not exciting? Should be worth a finski - whatta ya think?” –>