Category: One Liners

Now, you can have this thing back anytime you want. You’re gonna have to bark like a dog, though.

Oh, dear Lord, please make it stop.

Well, then, why don’t you just leave your boobs and some other stuff at my place?

You stole my moment. And you will pay.

I’ll tell you what, in about ten more minutes none of this is gonna matter, because this guy’s circling the drain.

Jordan, why would you need seven Pap smears in one month?

Easy, buddy. That smell burning your nostrils isn’t just the baby throw-up on her jacket – it’s the smell of a doctor with integrity.

I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show.

Mmm. And sassy, too. If you could cook a steak, I’d eat it right off your bottom!

Hey, Girl’s Name!