Category: One Liners

Ten bucks says I can make that kid wet himself before the day is over.

Enggghhh! That’s the noise I make when somebody lies to me.

Just because you have a new girlfriend doesn’t mean that the world has suddenly turned in to a giant green M&M. The Red Sox still suck, they do

addicts everywhere will still lie, cheat, and steal just to get a fix.!

Note to self: You’ve got to start writing down the names of people that truly annoy you!

Look, we’re both men; one of us a little more than the other, but that’s okay.

Laura, if you don’t toss that shot back, I’m going to throw you up on the bar and make you sing the theme song from ‘Endless Love’.

Do you actually listen to yourself when you speak, or do you find you drift in and out?

Whoa, there, Curly. I got no problem asking a woman out. Watch this: —- Wanna have a drink sometime?

I love the part right before we start hating each other.