Category: Put Downs

Mr. Bober, back there, is one of our frequent flyers; he’s been with us every six months for the last two years, and I’ve grown rather fond of him. So if you could somehow manage to not kill him, well then – oh, gee — that would just be ducky.

Whatta you say, there, Stephanie; how about you step up to the plate and tell the guy. My God! I’m only three weeks old, and already I’ve got more stones than you do – and one of mine hasn’t even dropped yet.

The answer is yes, it was me who saw you doing leg lifts in the gym on that inflatable ball. It was quite the display of girl power. Absolutely loved the leg warmers!

Barbie! I have a finite amount of brain space and your inspiring story of the little breast who couldn’t just pushed out my memory of the 1980 Olympic Hockey team’s victory at Lake Placid. Miracle on Ice…gone!

Despite the fact that when you wake up tomorrow morning you will be a resident, you’ll still be the same excitable little girl that you are right now; the only difference will be that some sorry new intern will probably mistake you for somebody who actually knows something.

So, what you’re saying is that you have a problem that is totally your problem, but you’d like to find a way to make that problem my problem. But here’s the problem, Newbie: it’s not my problem.

Yeah, unfortunately, the first part of the plan is not to share it with people who annoy me. Want to hear the second part? ……I can’t. My hands are tied by the first part.

Hat’s off, there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhea and stunned silence.

Oh! Yawn.

Oh, hey, Bob, here’s an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We’ll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we’ll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman.”