Category: Quips

There, you win. You can ahead and do your victory dance or slaughter a goat or whatever it is you do when you’re happy.

Angie. Put on your flats, we’re going for a walk.

Are you actually saying you enjoy telling people their spouses are going to die?

When you speak of this — and I know you will — could I be shirtless? See, I think it would be more impressive if I was shirtless

Just a veteran move from the baby-faced sophomore. The whole I’m sorry for your loss” thing was a little Hallmark-y for me, but darn it all if you’re not showing just a ton of promise!”

The guy’s a thousand. What’s he gonna do, take a steamer over to Europe, open up a café, and finally meet that nine hundred-year-old girl of his dreams?

I love the poetry of someone putting himself way up on a pedestal and then getting knocked the hell back down into this puddle of self-hatred…with the rest of us.

Lookit, I don’t have time right now to be the hundred-watt bulb for your annoying little moth, so if you could just fly away, that’d be great. Just fly awa–hey….?

Newbie, I know that your ovaries are absolutely tingling at the very sight of this little fella, but you gotta snap out of it!

Boy, I’ll tell you what, it’s just not a wedding without a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, is it.