Category: Season 1

“cut him or lose him.”

“Look, worst case scenario, you kill somebody, and that hangs over your head the rest of your life.”

“Now, whatta ya say, champ; you got a urine sample in there for me?”

“Write this down, newbie: If you push around a stiff, nobody’ll ask you to do anything.”

“I’m gonna go ahead and say this just as carefully as possible so I don’t overstate it: Dr. Kelso is the most evil human being on the planet. And may, in fact, be Satan, himself. “

“It’s regular-strength Tylenol! Here’s what’cha do: Get her to open her mouth, take a handful, and throw it at her. Whatever sticks, that’s the correct dosage. “

“I think, by the grace of God, we’re gonna be okay. Oh, and from now on, whenever I’m in the room, you’re definitely not allowed to talk.”

“Eisenhower….was a sissy.”

“The man’s 92 years old, he has full dementia, he doesn’t even know we’re here. He is inches from Carla’s rack and he hasn’t even flinched.”

“Why does this gomer got to try and die every day during my lunch!”