Category: Season 2

“I was scared. In fact, I was freaking out all day, because I’m quite confident that I’m gonna be an absolutely horrible father.” –>

“Oh, from one hell to another.” –>

“You know, you are being very immature! And, oh, my God! Is that guy on fire!?” –>

“So, you caught sight of the Janitor’s window crank, and think you may have seen a little melanoma on there? Hmm! Well, then, it’s your obligation as a doctor and your privilege as a woman to go back and ask him if you can’t see it one more time. Now, ‘course I’d love to help, but I’m off to baby-sit the only other being on God’s green earth who’s needier than you. And, in the meantime, I need you to go in and tell Mr. Mueller that his liver has lesions on it and it doesn’t look good.” –>

“What’s the matter? Are you getting all sore around that hump above your butt where your tail used to be?” –>

“This whole “I don’t care what people think about me” act? It’s pretty convincing. But methinks there’s a sad little cartoon boy living inside the hairy beast. And he’s sad because, at the end of the day, he realizes that the only thing people think about is what an evil son-of-a-bitch he really is. See you later, Bobbigator.” –>

“Listen, there, Flowers: I know that your pink scrubs are balled up at the base of Barbie’s bed three nights a week - and congrats on that, really - but if you’re gonna go ahead and have a show-down with everyone who hassles her, then, gosh, you two aren’t gonna have any time for that sweet, Aryan sex that you love so much!” –>

“Word to the wise, there, Astro: Sarcasm does not sit well with the Big Dog, so consider this a warning. Because the next time I hear you mumble some snarky little passive-aggressive aside, I’m going to look into your heart, pick out your greatest insecurity, and shine the world’s brightest spotlight on it for the remainder of your natural-born days. Now, riddle me this, Fido: Just exactly why does every Asian person who’s passing us by in the hallway, here, keep giving you the old stink-eye?” –>

“Oh, ho, ho, ho, Scooby! A married woman whose husband is still in a coma? Hoo, hoo! Can’t tell you how many happy couples I know who got started just that way.” –>

“If I’m not back in twenty minutes, I don’t want you to worry because it simply means I drove by a prostitute on the way home.” –>