Category: Season 3


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

I’m afraid you have me confused with somebody who gives a crap. And it’s okay, you don’t need to be embarrassed, turns out it happens all the time. For instance, my father actually made the same mistake on his death bed.


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Oh, my God. Look, Abby, I didn’t write to you asking for help. So, if you continue on down this road, you’re going to end up eating, breathing, and relieving yourself through a tube of some kind. Signed, Dealing With It On His Own in Kansas.


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

I can’t imagine anything I care less about.


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Stop addressing me as Dr. Cox” in front of your patients. When they find out my actual name, they tend to page me with questions when they realize just exactly how inept you really are. Oh, and as an added safety measure, from now on, I’ll only be responding to “Doc,” “Doctor,” “Ceasar,” or “The Big Cheese;” and noooo, I’m not joking. Not now – not ever.”


Filed under: Rants,Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Newbie! Let me – let me tell you a little story. It starts every day at 5 in the morning — which is just about the time that you’re setting your hair for work – when I am awakened by a sound: Is that a cat being gutted by a fishing knife? Nooo! That’s my son. He’s hungry and he’s got a load in his pants so big that I’m actually considering hiring a stable boy. But, I go ahead and dig in; because I do love the lad and, well gosh, you know me, I’m a giver. And I’m off to the hospital, where my cup runneth over with both quality colleagues, such as yourself, and a proverbial clown-car full of sick people. But, what the hey, my pay is about the same as guys who break rocks with other rocks and I only have to work three or four hundred hours a week, so, so far I’m a pretty happy camper! And then I head back home where I’m greeted by the faint musk of baby vomit in a house that used to smell like, well…nothing! Nothing! Nothing! I-i-in fact it used to smell like nothing at all. And all I want to do before I restart this whole glorious cycle is, you know, maybe lay on the couch and have a beer and watch some SportsCenter and, if I’m not too sweaty from the day’s labors, stick my hand right down my pants, buuut apparently that’s not in Jordan’s definition of pulling your weight”.


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Well, now, you are looking slim. Are those new scrubs? Or is it the fact you no longer have a soul?


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Come on, marriage is overrated. Jordan and I aren’t married, and we’re getting along great.


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry’s Perspective. One: If someone’s standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can’t decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I’m fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it’d be called Bring back the porn!” Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor — nay, respected as a man — is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.”


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Stop looking at me or die.


Filed under: Season 3 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Yes, Bob, those pants do make you look like you’re holding water.

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