Category: Season 6

“It really is just super that you’re here with us as a reminder that surgeons really are simply ignorant scalpel jocks. Hell, after surgery…if there’s the slightest medical issue you just turf the patient right down to us, the real doctors, so we can pick up your slack. You cut…and run, if you will. That’s right, it’s not just a phrase used by political pundits who wear bow ties. It is also the number one reason that all of you should pray to God, or, in your case Rex, Mocho the Samoan Bird King, that you never have to be treated by these flesh hungry butchers. Jenny, take his glasses as a trophy.”
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“Ok, in here we have Mrs. Frank, who is in renal-failure, a–and over here we have Dr. TurtleHead, who is suffering from a severe case of…”the Sulkys”. Symptoms include bad posture, moppy face and a sudden uncontrollable flailing of the upper extremities. Is it possible I’ve misdiagnosed this malady? (…) There it is. That a boy! Beat it. All of ya! (…)”
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“Sorry about that, Bobo,but I’m gonna go and tell the truth whenever i damn will, please. For instance, your tie. It’s hideous, in fact its only redeeming quality is to divert attention from the very visible outline of…your man-girdle.”
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“Noobie’s test result came back. He’s got Vasovagal Syncope. (…)If he’s vigorously Valsalva he can activate his reflex and actually lose consciousness. Carla…he’d pass out when he pooes!”
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“Dorian, again! That I don’t know if it’s the hormones or if the baby is actually eating the the bitch-cells but Jordan has…softened.In fact last night she…she ask me to cuddle her.”
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“DOOORIAN! You have been wrong about so many things that…I’m not even going to say something’s wrong anymore, instead I’m going to say It’s Dorian! And the fact that you’ll be willing skip seeing that child’s heartbeat for the first time…it’s just plain Dorian! I mean, hell, Jordan is having her second ultrasound and I couldn’t be more giddy I can’t wait to find out the sex of that unborn tax-break.”
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“Oh, Nurse Kelso, ooh, purple is not your color. Listen, could you con out the housekeeping and maybe send up some fresh scrubs for me and–psst, come here. Please put on a bra, you’re distracting some of the other doctors.”
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“Do you think you can actually be an absentee chief of medicine and still matter? Let me see if I can make this real clear for you. If this hospital were a human body, you’d be the appendix because at one time you served some function, but it was so long ago, nobody is quite sure what that was…anymore.”
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“Ooh, so that’s why we’re over there. Here I thought it was a rude act of terrorism, or was it for the oil? Or for mama Hussein secret Falafel rest I’ve been ashklashf…Gosh, that hard to keep track.”
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“She’s been gone 6 weeks, Bobo. But wait, before I make you look like a complete idiot, we’d all like to thank you for setting up the new employee discount of copydump. Gang! (…) And back to insulting you, she’s been gone 6 weeks, Bobo, the 6 days that you’re referring to are the 6 days you actually worked this month.”

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