Category: Quips

552

Filed under: Quips — @

Hey now, great work back there, Gandhi. What a story, huh? Blood, bravery, illegal immigrants – it had it all. Hell, when you tell Carla about this, the next time you two have sex, there’s a slight chance that she actually just might think about you.

611

Filed under: Quips — @

Jordan, he’s starting to look like a guy and I’m just not real big on kissing guys. When my father showed me affection, he would purposely miss when he threw bottles at my head.

18

Filed under: Quips — DRK @

you marry somebody just like your mother, and then you remember you hate your mother.

106

Filed under: Quips — DRK @

Jordan. What a coincidence! You were in my dream last night. I can’t say for certain, but I was having the flesh torn from my bones by a cross-eyed water snake — you, right?

215

Filed under: Quips — DRK @

You know, I always wanted to be the father of a tiny gay sailor. Jordan, come on, we agreed that we would wait until he’s quite a bit older before we started systematically ruining his life, right?

293

Filed under: Quips — DRK @

You, my friend, are going to be the best baseball player in the world. Which will make me the best baseball player in the world’s father.

565

Filed under: Quips — @

Sweetie, you are an evil, soulless, chemically-enhanced battle-axe that I truly doubt is a hundred percent human, but…you are an amazing mom.

613

Filed under: Quips,Season 5 — @

Fine, Lonnie, but hand to God, if you so much as look at me for the next month, I will mummify your head in surgical tape.

23

Filed under: Quips — DRK @

Oh, great. I thought it was gonna take you a little longer, so the marching band won’t be here until this evening.

111

Filed under: Quips — DRK @

Listen, girlfriend, I don’t wanna hear your misguided romantic notions. You see, for me, sex is a sport — like racquet-ball: You play hard for a half an hour, work up a sweat, and hope you don’t get hit in the eye.

« Previous PageNext Page »