Category: Season 4

Ohh, I am…so very angry…that I’m going to find someone to kill…just to prove her wrong.

Look, Newbie, there are times a man wants to keep something to himself. Like, say, he’s got a son. Or he’s 29-years-old and keeps a journal with a unicorn drawn on the cover.

Listen up. I have been cursed to work the night shift with you chuckleheads, which means I have to tape the Laker-Heat game. And seeing as no one in the history of this germ box has ever made it through a shift without saying Oh my God, oh, my God, did you see what happened last night on America’s Fattest Fatties? A 900 pound woman lost a pound and a half and cried for twenty minutes!” Be warned: If you utter a word about the score of the game, it will be your last. Now get out! Go, go, go, go, go. Chop chop!”

I want to Bob, I really do. But, my first patient today was a snot-nosed little punk who wouldn’t let me give him a rectal exam unless I said pretty please first, and I’m just not big on begging strangers to stick my hand up their butt. Not even in my private time.

I’m invisible, I’m invisible, I’m invisible, I’m invisible, I’m invisible, I’m…

Look, if I ever want your advice on one of my patients, I’ll ask. But do not hold your breath, unless of course you can hold it for a really long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time.

Look, I know you and I have never really connected – maybe that’s because you’re relentlessly annoying, or maybe it’s my fault because I can’t tolerate relentlessly annoying people – I don’t know. But answer me one question: Do you think I’m a good teacher?

Thanks to your little gesture, she actually believes that the earth is full of people who, deep down, are filled with kindness and caring!

You know, I got this kid who constantly ignores my advice, and then flashes me the sad doe eyes every time I call him a girl’s name or scream in his face.

You are so very useless, I counted you both twice.