Category: Season 4

I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I need to find a black-haired, soulless bottom-feeder. Oh, hi Neena.

You’re finally at that stage where you and your equally undistinguished colleagues have all had enough training to be able to help each other. So no matter how humiliating it may seem, if you know somebody who’s better than you – and I’m bettin’ that you do? – you had best tuck that ridiculously feminine tail of yours between your legs and go ask her for help. I’m thinkin’ that’s just about it. Yep. I, uh, gosh, I’m all out of speeches. I don’t think I have, uh, another one on me. I…I don’t. The – Oh. These are…my goodbye guns.

All right, Jack, listen to me. Ron’s in the bathroom diapering his kid. When he gets out, it’s playtime. And, son, lately your coloring’s been sloppy and your Elmo song — well, unfortunately, it’s lacked heart. Now you and I, we both know that your super-secret go-to toy are your building blocks. Well, it’s time to shine, Jackie Cox. It is time to shine. Earn daddy’s love on three. One, two, three — earn daddy’s love!

Why, Mariska? Why do you insist on bothering me with these things?

Don’t tell me – you and Sweaty Teddy here are gonna finally have that commitment ceremony you’ve been dreaming about?

Come on. I know you’re scared. A lot of times you feel like a little girl in a big gal’s body. But here’s the dirty little secret: Fear is good. It keeps you from becoming a crappy doctor. Trick is you just can’t let it paralyze you. But don’t you worry about a thing, there, Newbie. You’re a sure thing to get a kill. In fact, should be any day now!

Let’s break down the kid’s support system, shall we? He has me, an emotionally-crippled narcissist; and, he’s got you, an emotionally-crippled narcissist who’s soaking in a tub which by now has to be mostly your own urine.

I gotta go. If I’m around that sea hag for more than ten seconds my throat closes up.

SHE’S NOT PREGNANT! IT CAME OUT BLUE! IT’S BLUE! SHE’S NOT PREGNANT! IT’S BLUE! IT CAME OUT BLUE!!

I can change a diaper in twenty seconds.