Category: One Liners

Straighten up, Newbie, and I mean that in every sense of the word.

I’m sorry. I-I get lost in my eyes.

Your sarcasm is wasted on me, you giant pregnant beast. This is an anger-free zone. There’s no anger here.(…)Oh! Guh! Counter! Ha ha haaaaa!

It’s impossible to actually lie next to Jordan. Seems as she sleeps hanging up-side-down from the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.

Laura, if you don’t toss that shot back, I’m going to throw you up on the bar and make you sing the theme song from ‘Endless Love’.

Well, it’s nice to know where the magic began!

Nooo, Bobbo! You got there by back-stabbing and ass-kissing.

Sweetheart, I find it amusing that you think you’re so much as a blip on my radar.

It smells like that odd combo of flopsweat, hopelessness, and feet.

Yay, congratulations, whoopee, all right, see ya.