Category: Put Downs

150

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Oh, my God, Sabrina. You had better tell me that you just had laser eye surgery and they accidentally severed the muscle that enables you to hold that lid up, because you did not just wink at me!

265

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Carla, cut the guy some slack. Surgery is not as easy as it looks. I mean, he’s gotta make the incision, cut the wrong artery, panic, collapse into a ball of tears in the corner, and after all that he’s gotta go wash up, check the board, and find out who he’ll be killing after lunch. It’s…a grind.

503

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Ooh, Bar-bye! You are up there without a net this time! Well, I sure do hope Mr. Chang rallies for ya, because if he doesn’t, sure shootin’ you’re gonna be hearing Bob Kelso’s voice saying sweetheart, I told you so” from now until you are two inches shorter and driving around Florida with your left-hand blinker on.”

599

Filed under: Put Downs — @

Hate to burst your bubble, there, Barbie, but your endocrinology fellowship lasted all of five days. Granted, to you, five days may seem like an eternity seeing as it’s roughly five times as long as any of your white, pasty relationships have lasted. But trust me, that hardly makes you an expert.

151

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Julie, this is my ex-wife, Jordan; Jordan, this is my girlfriend, Julie. Okay! That was a treat, wasn’t it? Now, would you like me to call you a cab, or should I just whistle and have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?

269

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Here that’s interesting. Of course, it’s gibberish, but it’s–it’s interesting nonetheless. I’m gonna go ahead and pass, and here’s why: You’re a typical surgeon, and as a rule you guys are insensitive and egotistical and you have the sense of humor of about a fourth grader.

504

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

I’m talking legitimate doctors, turtle head. Here, Pee-Pants is a pathologist, so he doesn’t count. Johnson is a dermatologist, which is Greek for fake doctor,” and please don’t even get me started on you four surgeons.”

603

Filed under: Put Downs — @

Well, if it isn’t the Four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse. There’s a morbidity and mortality conference tomorrow to figure out who’s responsible for Foster’s death. And here’s the exciting news : I’m pretty sure it was one of you.

152

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Look, Britney, recently I made the potentially fatal mistake of getting back together with my ex-wife who, angel that she is, is carrying the spawn of another man’s seed. So, forgive me if I sound a tad irritable when I tell you, I don’t care what piece of irrelevant drivel you picked off TV while you were snuggled up in your Holly Hobbie P.J.s.

292

Filed under: Put Downs — DRK @

Listen, just because we have a child together doesn’t necessarily mean you know me, mmm’kay, princess?

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