Category: Put Downs

Despite the fact that when you wake up tomorrow morning you will be a resident, you’ll still be the same excitable little girl that you are right now; the only difference will be that some sorry new intern will probably mistake you for somebody who actually knows something.

So, what you’re saying is that you have a problem that is totally your problem, but you’d like to find a way to make that problem my problem. But here’s the problem, Newbie: it’s not my problem.

Yeah, unfortunately, the first part of the plan is not to share it with people who annoy me. Want to hear the second part? ……I can’t. My hands are tied by the first part.

Hat’s off, there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhea and stunned silence.

Oh! Yawn.

Oh, hey, Bob, here’s an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We’ll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we’ll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman.”

So now, how would you like this whole hug thing to go down? Do you wish to remain seated, would you like to stand? I, of course, don’t care, as long as it’s under three seconds and I don’t feel your breath on my neck.

Good point, Carla. Say, you don’t happen to have any other gems you wanna lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, do ya?

Bob, I deeply dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night.

I said I think you may not be the worst resident ever, but I can’t be sure of stuff like that. Come on, I haven’t done the appropriate leg work!