Category: Season 3

I mean, come on, Jordan, you haven’t let me make one decision about our son. Which is why, by the way, you’ll be doing the answering when he asks why daddy’s wee-wee doesn’t have a turtleneck on it like his.

It’s all about the four dollars, trust me. And seeing as my money is contingent on you lemmings actually doing your jobs, I would say that now is a pretty good time for you to scurry on back to work so that I can continue to afford the antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly.

Beyoncé, you could use a lot of help. But, hey, we all have to play the hand the Big Guy dealt us. You know, unless you’re lucky enough to have those insanely over-hyped ‘Queer Eye’ guys show up at your door, but I doubt even they have the brass ones necessary to fix whatever the hell this is.

Look, Carol, I know you think you look dashing in your navy blue scrubs, but I can’t deal with the fact that I walk into the front door of this place and I find you standing there taaaalking at me.

We’re so close, and yet if anybody asks if we’re married, all either one of us can say is – is no.

Those pants make your ass look giant.

I’m gonna go ahead and put this in a language that you can understand: You had better see my son now, or I’m gonna kick your ass.

Lookit, this new gig is a great opportunity for me, and I–I want it to go well. And, for some reason, all these other bobble-heads seem to look up to you, so it would make my life one hell of a lot easier if you got in line behind me.

Look, Pink, for the billionth time, no, I will not go out for a beer with you. Now repeat after me: Dr. Cox, you are not now, nor will you ever be, my mentor.

You know, my head’s probably going to melt when I say this but Kelso’s idea wasn’t half bad. Letting you run this place for a day would be a great educational experience. And, come on, let’s face facts — the training bra’s got to come off eventually. So, it’s your show, Debbie. Is this moment just the way you always pictured it?