Category: Put Downs

Yeah, unfortunately, the first part of the plan is not to share it with people who annoy me. Want to hear the second part? ……I can’t. My hands are tied by the first part.

Hat’s off, there, Barbie. That was one potent combination of verbal diarrhea and stunned silence.

Oh! Yawn.

Oh, hey, Bob, here’s an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We’ll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we’ll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman.”

So now, how would you like this whole hug thing to go down? Do you wish to remain seated, would you like to stand? I, of course, don’t care, as long as it’s under three seconds and I don’t feel your breath on my neck.

Good point, Carla. Say, you don’t happen to have any other gems you wanna lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, do ya?

Bob, I deeply dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night.

I said I think you may not be the worst resident ever, but I can’t be sure of stuff like that. Come on, I haven’t done the appropriate leg work!

Oh my God. What happened in your life that made you so needy that you’ve got to fill every waking second by babbling on?

I was in a costume, too. I went as someone who doesn’t make a fool out of himself. How’d you not get that?