A homage to the writing and delivery of the rants, quips, verbal assassinations and retorts of Dr. Perry Cox (Aka John C. McGinley).

Click on the number to read the whole quote.

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No: 91

Find in Season 1

Carla, can I ask you a personal question? Do you spray the perfume on, or do you just fill your bathtub up with it at home and splash around in it?

No: 90

Find in Season 1

I know you. You’re gonna walk into that board room tonight, all tall and strong, and then you’re gonna sit back and just pray that nobody asks your opinion. I mean, I’m sure you-you probably think that your little visits here are a spontaneous surprise, but, did you ever wonder why the only two candles […]

No: 89

Find in One Liners

This is the closest I’ve come to not hating myself after sleeping with you.

No: 88

Find in Season 1

Oh, no. Here, I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But, to sit and eat…with you, that’s-that’s just…that’s crazy talk! I have half a mind to issue you a drug test. I mean, come on, what’d I sign up for….?

No: 87

Find in Quips

What could you possibly want from me in exchange for my support? Because I’m telling you right now, I am not dating that daughter of yours.

No: 86

Find in Season 1

Oh, Bob! When I heard you were up on the roof, I just naturally assumed it was because your evil mission here on planet earth had finally come to an end; so, tell me this: where, exactly, is the mother ship?

No: 85

Find in Quips

Give my ex-wife, here, a physical. And don’t be afraid of that third eye on her chest. Just remember, it’s just as scared of you as you are of it.

No: 84

Find in Put Downs

Despite the fact that when you wake up tomorrow morning you will be a resident, you’ll still be the same excitable little girl that you are right now; the only difference will be that some sorry new intern will probably mistake you for somebody who actually knows something.

No: 83

Find in Put Downs

Mr. Bober, back there, is one of our frequent flyers; he’s been with us every six months for the last two years, and I’ve grown rather fond of him. So if you could somehow manage to not kill him, well then – oh, gee — that would just be ducky.

No: 82

Find in Put Downs

Oh, come on — what the hell, Newbie. This gentleman is suffering from an inflamed gallbladder, and you actually have him eating a grilled-cheese sandwich. Hhhere’s an idea: why don’t we just have him wash the whole thing down with a big ol’ mug of vodka.

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