I don’t know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy-dog tails, where you obviously, if not grew up then at least spent most of your summers, but you’re in the real world now. Nnnnn-kay?

I…hate…Robert Kelso. I hate his family, I hate his friends, I hate the guy that cleans his vaguely racist little lawn jockey; in fact, I hate anybody who ever even associates with him. Is that clear?

After twenty-five minutes, the only way I could know what you mean more is if you wrote My boyfriend doesn’t open up to me” on a big wooden mallet and repeatedly smashed me over the head with it. “

Well, geez, Agnes, does the field hockey team know that you’re missing?

you marry somebody just like your mother, and then you remember you hate your mother.

Oh, listen here, pumpkin, if you’re honestly having this much trouble getting over me, just go ahead and give me a call and I’ll toss you a sympathy throw-down anytime.

Okay, Linus, you’re way too excited; I want you to get your blankie, go in a corner, and take a time-out.

Don’t look her in the eyes, newbie; she’ll steal your soul. So, how are things going down in the underworld?

You know that before medicine ever became a business, the only rule was to do your best to help the patient

And watching his face as I kick his worthless butt up and down this golf course every week is basically…, well, it’s the most fun I can have without being forced to cuddle afterwards.