Category: Put Downs

Oh! Yawn.

Oh, hey, Bob, here’s an idea: What say you stop showing up altogether? We’ll just replace you with a giant time-clock. Oh, and if we ever get to missing you, we’ll just have a tiny little Bob Kelso cuckoo bird pop out every couple of minutes and say I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman. I’ve never satisfied a woman.”

So now, how would you like this whole hug thing to go down? Do you wish to remain seated, would you like to stand? I, of course, don’t care, as long as it’s under three seconds and I don’t feel your breath on my neck.

Good point, Carla. Say, you don’t happen to have any other gems you wanna lay on us before you run off to couples therapy to sift through the wreckage that is the first year of your marriage, do ya?

Bob, I deeply dislike you. Honestly, it keeps me up at night.

I said I think you may not be the worst resident ever, but I can’t be sure of stuff like that. Come on, I haven’t done the appropriate leg work!

Oh my God. What happened in your life that made you so needy that you’ve got to fill every waking second by babbling on?

I was in a costume, too. I went as someone who doesn’t make a fool out of himself. How’d you not get that?

Hey, Bob. As far as the whole intro thing goes, I’ve actually gone ahead and given it a lot of thought, but I’m afraid I’m gonna very politely have to tell you to blow it out your ass.

Newbie, did you not see what just happened? Kelso is so far up my ass that I can taste Brylcreem in the back of my throat. And you, you’re…you’re third-year now. Wake up, this whole Dr. Cox Riding in to The Rescue part of the show is over.