Category: Put Downs

By the by, this moment is so great, I’d cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little moments.

All right, then, before we jump in to rounds, I see it’s time for my annual cologne intervention. Lonnie, you’re killing us. And, honestly, what’s the point? D’you understand that no matter how badly you wanna get freaky with Karen, here, that’s just not going to happen, and here’s why: She thinks you have the body of a fetus. Oh, Karen, did you tell me that in confidence?

Listen up, there, Molly Menopause, I need you to quiet the hell down, you’re scaring everyone in the hospital. I mean, my God – they’re delivering a baby upstairs, and the poor kid’s using the umbilical cord to crawl the hell back in.

Bottom line: We’ll be bestest friends foreverest if you just keep your face out of my face. Uh-huh.

Great moment, there, dumb-ass. It starts out with a profound misunderstanding of how the human body works, and winds up with you shattering some old man’s hand.

Eh, I’m tired. Maybe he is from the International Pretentious Association, and he’s here to remove your goatee.

Gosh, I’m sorry, nervous guy, but I just can’t do your work for you. But, what do you say you head on down to the library and look it up in the New England Journal of Who Gives a Rat’s Ass?

Hey, look, Gandhi, now just because you broke out your little Fisher-Price surgery set and somehow managed to not kill somebody for once, doesn’t mean you’re queen of the world.

Hold that thought, Newbie…. One, two, three, four…. My new thing is to count just exactly how many people in any given room can kick your ass. And in here, the number is four.

Or…we could skip the day-trip to Unnecessary Land and instead simply concede that Mrs. Wilk is my patient and that, while we are both attendings, we are in no way equals – we are in fact not equals. We are – hmmm! – unequals.