in the history of medicine, there’s never actually been a patient that depressing. I made it up! Come on, now, Barbie; you keep going down this road, you’re gonna go up to the roof of this hospital and jump the hell off. Mind you, it’s only five stories high, so that means you’ll just wind […]

You’re gonna love this one! Twenty-five-year-old woman — dancer, actually…well, not anymore, I’m afraid we have to take both of her legs — bilateral gangrene — and seeing as her husband recently passed away, and her insurance at the dancer’s union probably is not gonna cover it, you should go ahead and tell her she […]

Well, it’s nice to know where the magic began!

You know, Newbie, it’s so interesting — I found I couldn’t sleep last night, so, in order to pass the time, I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you. Anyway, I came up with people who call Wednesdays hump day” and, of course, all Sandra Bullock movies.”

Just a veteran move from the baby-faced sophomore. The whole I’m sorry for your loss” thing was a little Hallmark-y for me, but darn it all if you’re not showing just a ton of promise!”

For your information, I attended that poor vegetable’s funeral every single time I set foot in his room over the last six weeks. Thank God the family finally moved him over to Surgery, where you guys were good enough to help him kick that nasty oxygen habit he had once and for all.

There is no one I hate more than that Medusa — she is everything that’s wrong with medicine. And even knowing that she’s in the hospital makes me want to tear someone’s head off.

Lookit, I don’t have time right now to be the hundred-watt bulb for your annoying little moth, so if you could just fly away, that’d be great. Just fly awa–hey….?

Oh, gosh, Martha, I’d love to attend your safety camp this summer — I would — but here my parents are making me go to Maine with them. So whatta you say you make sure and take a lot of pictures, that way, when you get back, we can both sit down and put together […]

You see Dr. Wen in there? He’s explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died. He’s gonna tell them what happened, he’s gonna say he’s sorry, and then he’s going back to work. You think anybody else in that room is going back to work today? That is why we […]