A homage to the writing and delivery of the rants, quips, verbal assassinations and retorts of Dr. Perry Cox (Aka John C. McGinley).

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No: 140

Find in Season 2

Let me guess, you’re off to another funeral. I’ll make you a deal — you come with me right now, and if you’re still late for the graveyard, I will personally scour the obituaries with you this weekend and you can just go nuts!

No: 139

Find in Quips

I love the poetry of someone putting himself way up on a pedestal and then getting knocked the hell back down into this puddle of self-hatred…with the rest of us.

No: 138

Find in One Liners

Twenty bucks says you kill him.

No: 137

Find in Quips

The guy’s a thousand. What’s he gonna do, take a steamer over to Europe, open up a café, and finally meet that nine hundred-year-old girl of his dreams?

No: 136

Find in One Liners

God, I hate Halloween!

No: 123

Find in Quips

Are you actually saying you enjoy telling people their spouses are going to die?

No: 122

Find in One Liners

Dammit, Laverne. Why can’t I ever be the one dying?

No: 121

Find in Season 2

Congratulations. You get to represent the Kelso Kennel Club at the big show in Reno. Just remember, when you are posing and prancing in front of the judges, to keep that shaved behind of yours held up nice and high like the proud little puppy that you are. Then when it comes time to hand […]

No: 107

Find in Put Downs

Oh! Yawn.

No: 106

Find in Quips

Jordan. What a coincidence! You were in my dream last night. I can’t say for certain, but I was having the flesh torn from my bones by a cross-eyed water snake — you, right?

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