A homage to the writing and delivery of the rants, quips, verbal assassinations and retorts of Dr. Perry Cox (Aka John C. McGinley).

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No: 247

Find in Quips

I don’t ever want to hear anything that’s come out of that man’s mouth; unless, of course, it’s Oh, my God! I’m dying. Now I’m moving towards the light. But wait a minute, there’s been a mistake! This is Hell! Hello, Hitler. Hello, Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo? That’s weird!”

No: 246

Find in Season 3

Lookit, this new gig is a great opportunity for me, and I–I want it to go well. And, for some reason, all these other bobble-heads seem to look up to you, so it would make my life one hell of a lot easier if you got in line behind me.

No: 245

Find in Season 3

It’s all about the four dollars, trust me. And seeing as my money is contingent on you lemmings actually doing your jobs, I would say that now is a pretty good time for you to scurry on back to work so that I can continue to afford the antidepressants that keep me so damn jolly.

No: 254

Find in Put Downs

Bottom line: We’ll be bestest friends foreverest if you just keep your face out of my face. Uh-huh.

No: 255

Find in Season 3

sometimes in medicine you have to just chalk it up to life’s great mysteries, like crop circles or this gal’s Adam’s apple.

No: 256

Find in Season 3

Hey, lookit, I had front seats to that bloodbath, and it hasn’t affected my sex drive.

No: 265

Find in Put Downs

Carla, cut the guy some slack. Surgery is not as easy as it looks. I mean, he’s gotta make the incision, cut the wrong artery, panic, collapse into a ball of tears in the corner, and after all that he’s gotta go wash up, check the board, and find out who he’ll be killing after […]

No: 264

Find in Quips

Oh, this is me mature. La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!

No: 263

Find in Put Downs

Newbie, you told me to tell her exactly how I feel, I did just that. Now you’ll remain on the floor until you come up with a new plan for me.

No: 262

Find in Rants

Ohhhhh, my little newbie-doobie-doo! Say, that whole telling Jordan how I feel” thing just went terrific, thank you for that. Now I need a place to crash. Where’s Naomi’s bedroom? Good night, roomies.”

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