Well, gosh, Marjorie, aren’t you sassy today! Did Santa finally bring you the Y chromosome you always wanted?

Everyone, we can all relax now — the planets have been realigned and order shall be returned to the people.

Oh, great. I thought it was gonna take you a little longer, so the marching band won’t be here until this evening.

Now, you can have this thing back anytime you want. You’re gonna have to bark like a dog, though.

You know I did get the memo Bob, and at first I just threw it away. But then I decided that wasn’t a grand enough gesture. So I made a replica of you out of straw and then I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket and then I invited […]

I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show.

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. You’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong.

Nobody talk, just drink.

I was just now wondering if there’s anything that could actually push my headache into a full-blown migraine, and…there you are.

Okay. Think of what little patience I have as…oh, I don’t know…your virginity: You always thought it would be there, until that night junior year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin — who _just_ wanted to be friends — well, he dropped by, and he brought a copy […]