Enggghhh! That’s the noise I make when somebody lies to me.

So, in order to make this a more palatable experience for moi, I am not going to call you by your names — instead, I’ll be referring to you by whatever distinguishing physical characteristic occurs to me first. Okay…you, Chicken Beak, what causes pneumonia presenting with diarrhea?

Well gosh, I guess I became a doctor because, ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted to help people. I don’t…tell this story very often, but, I remember when I was seven years old, one time I found a bird that had fallen out of its nest. And so, I picked him […]

We are short staffed today because Kelso has volunteered all of you scut-monkeys for some psychologist’s research project — give me a break — which means, of course, you won’t be helping patients. Instead…oh, you’ll be blabbering about your feelings and what it’s like working in the hospital, and how that affects your personal lives…and: […]

Look, we’re both men; one of us a little more than the other, but that’s okay.

Note to self: You’ve got to start writing down the names of people that truly annoy you!

Whatta you say we cut to the chase? You’re dating Carla, the one person in this hospital I can remotely stand, and she wants us to get all kissy-face with each other — I get it, I do. But, you see, every single time I shake my magic 8 ball and ask it, Are we […]

addicts everywhere will still lie, cheat, and steal just to get a fix.!

Just because you have a new girlfriend doesn’t mean that the world has suddenly turned in to a giant green M&M. The Red Sox still suck, they do

Okay, Newbie, how’d you drop the ball on this one? And don’t tell me you cried, or I’m gonna have you banned from the men’s room again.