It’s a diagnosis of a ridiculously obscure disease when it’s much more likely that the patient has a common illness presenting with uncommon symptoms. In other words, if you hear hoof-beats, you just go ahead and think horsies — not zebras. Mm’kay, Mr. Silly Bear?

I was just wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show.

You know I did get the memo Bob, and at first I just threw it away. But then I decided that wasn’t a grand enough gesture. So I made a replica of you out of straw and then I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket and then I invited […]

Now, you can have this thing back anytime you want. You’re gonna have to bark like a dog, though.

I don’t know if they taught you this in the land of fairies and puppy-dog tails, where you obviously, if not grew up then at least spent most of your summers, but you’re in the real world now. Nnnnn-kay?

I don’t wanna give you my two cents’ worth. But if you ever do wanna know my opinion, rest assured it will always be that you’re an incredible pain and that every time I see your kew-pie-doll face, it just makes me wanna pick you up and shake you until all the hours of my […]

I’ve. Had. Enough. The next whiny intern that comes in here looking to me for a cookie and a hug, I swear to Aisha, I’m going to hurt them. And you, you neurotic, one-woman freak-show, take your Blah-blah” to the blah-blah-ologist. Because if you are so stupid as to confront the Chief of Medicine over […]

Look! This whole groovy guidance counselor” thing you people seem to have working is a total fantasy. I’m not that guy, you can go and ask anybody. Now, you’ve got to leave me alone, or I’ll punish you.”

Oh, this woman is just fantastic. I mean, the breasts are probably fake, but, by God, those tears are real!

You’re having a big day, there, Susan.