Oh, good. Here you’re wetting down the floor for the older folks.

Tell me, did ya happen to come across any pamphlets on people who only work eight days a year and then spend the other 357 whining about it?

I don’t necessarily buy into all that new agey crap. One time I saw my mom knock my father unconscious with a frying pan. You know what I did? I kept right on going with my birthday party.

Well, when it’s my turn to listen to the baby monitor, I just wait till you’re asleep and I turn it off.

You and your mother are basically the same person.

If you don’t wanna fight in front of Jack anymore, I understand that. But I don’t think that means we gotta stop altogether. I mean, Jordan, you are an unpredictable, passionate person, and you challenge me each and every day. And, honestly, that’s the reason I can imagine being with you when I’m seventy and […]

I sure hope you’re comfortable in that bed, because you’re gonna be in one just like it for the rest of your natural born life.

Molly, Molly, Molly, you lost me at hello.”

Why, Mariska? Why do you insist on bothering me with these things?

I suppose I could riff a list of things that I care as little about as our last week together. Lemme see, uhh…. Low-carb diets. Michael Moore. The Republican National Convention. Kabbalah and all Kabbalah-related products. Hi-def TV, the Bush daughters, wireless hot spots, ‘The O.C.’, the U.N., recycling, getting Punk’d, Danny Gans, the Latin […]