Category: Season 2

Oh, gosh, Martha, I’d love to attend your safety camp this summer — I would — but here my parents are making me go to Maine with them. So whatta you say you make sure and take a lot of pictures, that way, when you get back, we can both sit down and put together a Friends Forever” collage. Come on, now, the kid’s sixteen years old — he’s a little busted up, it’s not that big a deal. I mean, hell, when…when you were a kid, you must’ve cut your hand on your doll house?”

Lookit, I don’t have time right now to be the hundred-watt bulb for your annoying little moth, so if you could just fly away, that’d be great. Just fly awa–hey….?

I actually had my physical last week, and while my cholesterol was low, my blood pressure was through the roof. Needless to say, my physician was stumped; but now — thank God! — you’ve helped us solve that riddle. You see, because, the very instant I heard your shrill voice whining about a teeny-weeny problem, aw, it took every ounce of self-restraint I had to keep blood from shooting out my ears.

It’s that your drug is so damn good that you guys went ahead and put a six-hundred percent mark-up on it. But, hey, the only ones who get hurt are the sick people, right? And since your company damn-sure doesn’t care about them, and you’re part of the system, that just means you don’t care, either. And that’s…pretty much what’s making me sick; that’s all.

Oh, just not smart. Even for you.

Oh, Perry gonna get some lovin’. Perry gonna get some lovin’. Oh, Perry gonna get some lovin’.

Ahh, such a lucky fetus!

All right, fair enough, here’s your chance — two identical patients. I say we divide ‘em up, just like in ‘The Parent Trap’. One goes with the sexy, free-wheeling, bachelor dad — hello; the other goes with the whiny, neurotic, sexually-repressed mom — oh, just you all over.

Newbie, when a patient has an infection, I make it a general policy not to actually push on it. Just start Ancef 1 gram Q 8 hours, and oh, my God, did I just ask my ex-wife to move in with me?

I guess you could take over the master bathroom. But, would you do me a favor and leave my sleeping pills out in case, when I get home, I want to take 300 of them?