Category: Season 5

Cut to the chase there, pee pants.

Bethany, focus. Then dump on all of ’em! I’m sure they deserve it. I mean, let’s face facts. You are their teacher. How competent can they be? Stellar group there, Newbie. Let the torturing commence.

Red states be damned. You’re gonna make great fathers.

You’re black? ‘Cause, last I checked, you had a nerdy white best friend, you enjoy Neil Diamond, and you damn sure act like a black guy. And these, my friend, are all characteristics of white guys. Now, please understand, I’m a huge supporter of the NAACP. That stands for the National Association For The Advancement Of Colored People. And quite frankly, I always thought they should change Colored People” to “African-Americans.” But then it wouldn’t be the NAACP, it would be the “N quad A,” or NAAAA. I know this probably sounds like a digression, but it actually leads me back to my original point: Do I think you’re black? Naaaah.”

For the love of God, are you a real doctor or a doctor like Julius Erving is a doctor?

Oh, have you, Stanley? I wasn’t expecting any.

Two good reasons: His face and personality.

Please exit the area. Please exit the area. Please exit the area.

Ever since I was blitzkrieged by an enraged German named Otto, a certain Dr. Barbie no longer exists for me, so if she was to ask me a question, I wouldn’t be able to hear and you’d have to repeat it.

Would you go ahead and thank what’s-his-name for me?