Category: Season 4

Let’s break down the kid’s support system, shall we? He has me, an emotionally-crippled narcissist; and, he’s got you, an emotionally-crippled narcissist who’s soaking in a tub which by now has to be mostly your own urine.

I gotta go. If I’m around that sea hag for more than ten seconds my throat closes up.

SHE’S NOT PREGNANT! IT CAME OUT BLUE! IT’S BLUE! SHE’S NOT PREGNANT! IT’S BLUE! IT CAME OUT BLUE!!

I can change a diaper in twenty seconds.

Molly, Molly, Molly, you lost me at hello.”

Honey, if you are coming in, I just might go ahead and phone up my pool-man and my architect so we can populate the room with just as many useless people as possible.

Since you two have become chief residents, I’ve noticed that your leadership skills are — how can I put this delicately? — eh…crap.!

I think the question you should be asking is, Mind if I diddle your ex?” Oh, and just a great big congratulations on your on-going streak of being the world’s worst older brother!”

Neena played you like proud owner of the world’s longest dry streak. You know what, can I ask you a personal question? Exactly how long has it been since you’ve swept the stuffed animals off of your bed, thrown your ankles up in the air, and thanked whatever god you pray to that you didn’t have on your granny panties?

I’m sorry, my son is taking…is taking ballet? Come on, Jordan, he’s already got an overbearing mother and a fairly prominent lisp. If we stick him in the tights, well, we might as well just go ahead and get him a timeshare on Fire Island.