Category: Season 3

Lemme go ahead and share a little something special with you that I like to call Perry’s Perspective. One: If someone’s standing in front of me in line at the coffee shop and they can’t decide what they want in the half an hour it took to get to the register, I should be allowed to kill them. Two: I’m fairly sure if they took porn off the internet, there’d only be one website left, and it’d be called Bring back the porn!” Three and most importantly of all: The only way to be respected as a doctor — nay, respected as a man — is to be an island; you are born alone, you damn sure die alone.”

I don’t wanna see you around here anymore, okay?

Stop looking at me or die.

I roughly think that would be the faint sound of your patient vomiting. You may be having trouble hearing it over the much louder sound of me being right yet again.

Yes, Bob, those pants do make you look like you’re holding water.

You and your mother are basically the same person.

The point is, and you just might want to jot this down: only the weak need help.

Okay! Now, just because Jordan thinks it’s cute that you’re violating her little sister doesn’t mean that you can use my guest-room for your nerdy, G-rated sexcapades.

I’ll tell you what to do: Get the hell out of here.

Ohhh, great! You’re getting medication for your pain patient! But, say, why stop there? How’s about we load up our fanny packs with happy pills, drive downtown, I’ll hang out of the sun-roof, and we can just throw fistfuls of ’em right at drug addicts and it’ll just be a big happy parade!