Category: Season 3

Mr. Corman, you’re not even feeling bad! You don’t need this scan! If it would make you happy, we can just go ahead and do the exact same thing we’ve done the last fifty times you’ve been in here — take your temperature, draw some blood, and give you a rectal. It’s your basic Ah, Ow, OH!”

Carla scares me, okay? She may be small, but she has very powerful legs.

I’m gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for two testicles; and you feel free to get this filled out whenever you want.

You make me want to kill myself and everybody around me!

Not a strong moment for you Polly.

Not so fast, there, Bob. You forgot to affix the warning label to your forehead. You know, the one that reads Exposure to Bob Kelso can be hazardous to your health” thus affording the reader a fighting chance to escape the waste and contamination that is…Bob Kelso.”

Mr. Corman, you’re not dying of anything! Although if you do try to swipe one more bite of my lamb medallions I will be forced to kill you.

I apologize. I am a horse’s ass.

Stop addressing me as Dr. Cox” in front of your patients. When they find out my actual name, they tend to page me with questions when they realize just exactly how inept you really are. Oh, and as an added safety measure, from now on, I’ll only be responding to “Doc,” “Doctor,” “Ceasar,” or “The Big Cheese;” and noooo, I’m not joking. Not now – not ever.”

Did I just walk in on you mocking an innocent patient!?