Category: Season 5

“Never. They never say “ribs.”" –>

“Could I, uh, could I have everybody’s attention, please. Jordan’s pregnant. [Talking in high-pitched voice] No. But Dr. Cox, here I thought you and Jordan were done trying to have any more babies. We were, but my vasectomy didn’t take which, apparently, is not that uncommon. [High-pitched voice] Holy crap, Dr. Cox. That must have really pissed you off. [Regular voice] Yes, it did. What is, what is your name? [High-pitched voice] Oh, I’m any generic hospital worker who happens to ask you a question about your pregnancy and l or any baby-related issues. [Regular voice] Isn’t that nice? This morality play was made possible by a grant from the “Just See If I Was Kidding Foundation”.”
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“Forgive me, but since I had a vasectomy last year, nay, two vasectomies, I feel, I feel I just have to ask. Did you cheat on me?”
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“Those are my workout pants. She’s been trying to get rid of those, but I’ll be honest with you, I love them cause they’re so comfortable and you can get them on real quick.”
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“You know, son, as a doctor, I spend a lot of my day dealing with other people’s poop. And I’m not going to lie to you, Jackie, it gets old. Now that’s, that’s not to say I haven’t enjoyed waking up to a fresh brown trout in your Huggies. Besides, you’re gonna do the same thing for me some day real soon. And yet, aside from actually seeing you being born and that time Wayne Gretzky said, “What’s up” to me in line at the bank, you out of diapers is the best thing that’s ever happened. It truly is. Now why don’t you go into your room and play for a little while because we’re going to celebrate grown-up style.”
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“Well, it’s no secret how I feel about surgeons. I hate them. I’d liken them to rocks, but that would insult rocks because, you see, at least rocks are useful to society. We build bridges, throw them at guys wearing phones clipped to their heads. It’s a phone. You can’t do this? However, it is not Dr. Briggs’ fault that she works in a broken system. Top hospitals are only interested in hiring surgeons who they think are flawless. That’s not the answer you thought you’d hear, but as always, I don’t care.”
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“For the love of God, are you a real doctor or a doctor like Julius Erving is a doctor?”
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“Well, that’s not entirely true. Since the arrival of my son, I think I’ve become more patient. Plus, I can’t believe these words are coming out of my mouth, I’ve learned that not all of Newbie’s ideas are completely ridiculous. Do you love it as much as I do?”
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“Barbie, please. They’re about to show Lindsay’s breakfast nook.”
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“I had to go the bathroom, Barbie. People, from now on, if anyone needs to take a leak, please notify Dr. Reid. It is a pet peeve of hers.”
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