Category: One Liners

“This is the dumbest conversation.” –>

“I don’t know who you are, but thank you for this.” –>

“Jordan, why would you need seven Pap smears in one month?”
–>

“Maybe they’ll put it in Almost Magazine.” –>

“Lookit, I’d like to throw it in Gwen Stefani tonight instead of Jordan, but that ain’t gonna happen either.” –>

“No, no. No no no no no no no. It was a selfish act. If other people talk to you, you won’t have to talk to me!” –>

“Tell it to the wall, Newbie!” –>

“It smells like that odd combo of flopsweat, hopelessness, and feet.” –>

“I’m sorry. I-I get lost in my eyes.” –>

“That’s a cute couple. I give ‘em a week.” –>