Category: One Liners

It’s my hair, if it even gets damp, it frizzes out and becomes wildly unmanageable.

Oh, dear Lord, please make it stop.

Mmm. And sassy, too. If you could cook a steak, I’d eat it right off your bottom!

Hey, don’t be embarrassed about staring at my ass. You’re only human, baby, and everybody does, anyway.

All right, Clara, you can go ahead and order yourself a Cosmopolitan; we’ll just grab a cab home.

This is the closest I’ve come to not hating myself after sleeping with you.

Why does this gomer got to try and die every day during my lunch!

Sandy, whatta ya say we start our work day.

I can’t stop thinking about putting up with you.

Bob Kelso is an awful, awful man.