Category: Season 1

86

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Oh, Bob! When I heard you were up on the roof, I just naturally assumed it was because your evil mission here on planet earth had finally come to an end; so, tell me this: where, exactly, is the mother ship?

16

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Okay, Linus, you’re way too excited; I want you to get your blankie, go in a corner, and take a time-out.

43

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Whatta you say we cut to the chase? You’re dating Carla, the one person in this hospital I can remotely stand, and she wants us to get all kissy-face with each other — I get it, I do. But, you see, every single time I shake my magic 8 ball and ask it, Are we gonna be best friends forever?” do you know what it says?”

88

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Oh, no. Here, I was led to believe that you were doing a gift certificate kind of thing. But, to sit and eat…with you, that’s-that’s just…that’s crazy talk! I have half a mind to issue you a drug test. I mean, come on, what’d I sign up for….?

17

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Oh, listen here, pumpkin, if you’re honestly having this much trouble getting over me, just go ahead and give me a call and I’ll toss you a sympathy throw-down anytime.

48

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

It’s the way you both play your parts with such wonderful commitment that almost had me believing that you aren’t having whiny, neurotic, extremely pale sex with each other.

90

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

I know you. You’re gonna walk into that board room tonight, all tall and strong, and then you’re gonna sit back and just pray that nobody asks your opinion. I mean, I’m sure you-you probably think that your little visits here are a spontaneous surprise, but, did you ever wonder why the only two candles that I own are already lit when you walk in that door? I mean, doll, I hate to tell you this but, I don’t walk around all day with cologne down in my engine room. I’m not that guy!

19

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Well, geez, Agnes, does the field hockey team know that you’re missing?

49

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Oh, and, if you go ahead and listen very carefully, you’ll hear the familiar sound of no one caring.

91

Filed under: Season 1 — DRK @ 12:00 am

Carla, can I ask you a personal question? Do you spray the perfume on, or do you just fill your bathtub up with it at home and splash around in it?

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